I Don't Know the Reason
by Oreithyia
Summary: A quiet civilian graveyard has a pair of visitors in the early morning. A reflection on life, death, and meaning. Easter fic.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or anything associated with it whatsoever. Alas, and woe.

I Don't Know the Reason

The mists were pristine and clean. Cool, delicate droplets of moisture illuminated by the gentle rays of the early morning sun to a softly effluent white alighted along the tops of the polished stone monuments in a veil, obscuring harsh edges and blanketing all in peaceful lightness.

Pale colored feathers ruffled quietly as a pair of songbirds, their heads tucked carefully beneath their wings, sleepily lifted their heads and looked through the translucent green of the willow leaves towards the rising sun. Notes of song, an early morning hymn, drifted through the fresh morning air in a series of twitters and chirrups.

Lush, dewy grass bowed beneath the light steps of the visitor to the sanctuary. He made no noise otherwise, respectfully quiet in the place solitude. Amid the many memorials resting among the mists, a cross of white marble, simple and unobtrusive, gleamed lightly in the early dawn.

The shinobi paused in front of the simple marker, inhaling the invigorating sent of the morning, before sighing out the breath and whispering his greeting.

"Morning, Rin. It's been a while."

A year. To the day.

Disheveled silvery strands slid against one another as he tilted his head, slightly embarrassed at his own sheepishness.

"I know I should visit more often, but, uh…" he looked with his one uncovered eye to the small gift in his hand. "Here." He placed the small bouquet of daisies at the base of the cross. She had always had simple tastes, the design of the cross marker and his choice of flowers reflected that knowledge.

Simple, open, somehow so light and innocent despite all they had seen as shinobi, all they had done. She had become a healer, a dedicated medic.

Obito and he came home with hands stained red with the lives of enemies. She came home with soft hands bloodied with her efforts to protect them, to save them and innocent civilians caught in wars they had no part in.

When she smiled, it was genuine. When she laughed it wasn't forced. She was positive and hopeful.

Her peace when she told him what the doctors had told her about her headaches was unfathomable to him. How it had been overlooked, they didn't know, but it was too late to stop the tumor. Weeks, if that, were the prognosis.

She was sad, that he could see, but no despair.

"You don't have to worry about me, Kakashi." Her smile was gentle. "I'm going to go see my family again. I'm the only one still here." Her soft eyes were looking to him, trying to help him understand.

He smiled and nodded swiftly, the set to his teeth making his expression almost a grimace. He knew what she believed, but he had seen too much, felt too much, and too little, to listen to her when she began to speak of those kinds of things.

She could have been buried with other shinobi, those that did not fall in battle but passed away in other ways as she had, but she had elected to be buried in a civilian cemetery with her family.

No one thought anything of him when he visited Obito at the Memorial Stone. It was easy to stand on the unyielding paving stones and stare at letters carved with cold precision into black rock. It was here, in the soft grass, amid the gentle rustling leaves, among the songs of the birds, and lovingly polished white stone that he was overwhelmed. Before the black rock there was just the empty longing, missing with no end, but here with the small cross marking a friend surrounded by her family, there was something he didn't want to feel. Didn't want to face.

"So," he whispered, his lips barely moving behind the shield of his mask. "Are they there?"

The rays of the sun warmed the surface of the waking earth, coaxing the mists away to reveal more of the markers and all that lay between. A flash of white cloth reflecting the sunlight caught his eye. One dark eye swung sideways to see a young woman, petite and dressed in a uniform that was well worn but well cared for, was kneeling before a marker nearby.

She hadn't noticed him. Her eyes were closed, and hands were before her clasped together. She was praying.

He suppressed a flinch as he looked away. He should probably just leave, but he owed Rin more of a visit than this. What should he do though? What should he say when he didn't know if she would hear him? She had always thought she would, had said she would keep an eye on him. Was it even possible?

A soft rustle of movement, and the girl was standing up, a little stiff from her time on her knees. She waved at the flat marker on the ground, the least expensive kind available, bought by the poor. Her slim hand swayed affectionately.

"Bye, Mom. I'll come see you again later, okay?"

The figure turned, and a familiar face lit up in surprise. "Kakashi-san." She saw she had caught his attention, and assumed she had distracted him. "Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized softly. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

"You didn't," he reassured her. He turned to look back at the grave as Ayame made her way over to him, adjusting the kerchief on her head as she did so.

"Rin-san." She came to a stop beside Kakashi, looking at the simple marker gleaming in the morning light. "She and Mom were good friends." Her tone was wistful. He nodded.

A quiet moment passed. "Kakashi-san has a genin team now."

He looked sideways at her as she spoke softly to the marker. "Uzumaki Naruto is on the team. Remember him?" Kakashi looked back at the silent marker as she continued. "He still comes to our stall everyday. I heard Kakashi-san made them do the bell test."

She paused, maybe waiting for Kakashi to speak to his teammate. The breeze made soft susurrations as it combed through the grasses.

"I have to go Rin-san. I have to help Dad." She looked kindly at the grave. "Bye."

She looked to Kakashi, his face hidden by his mask and wild hair, shadowed even in the sun.

"Kakashi-san," she said gently. A dark eye, distant and withdrawn, looked to her. "Take good care of Naruto-kun for Dad and I, okay?"

He watched her. She was a lot like Rin had been. "Yeah."

She smiled as she nodded, the sun reflecting of her bright kerchief. "Bye, Kakashi-san."

She turned away, carefully making her way through the markers, returning home. Kakashi watched her leave for a moment before facing the marker once more. Around him, the songs of the birds chimed through the open, sunlit air. The breeze whispered through the blanket of grasses, it's fingers combing through his silvery hair.

On the inside, he was hollow.

* * *

AN: Happy Easter everyone.

The title is taken from If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens. (which I do not own).

Review if you like it.


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